Delete

I have the email addresses of dead people. For some reason, I’m reluctant to delete them. They were not really friends, in the classic sense, but they were people in my life and now they are gone. So why is it so hard to check the “delete” box and get them out of my email address list?

The Mail-daemon (a whole ‘nother subject) will only send me a terse notice that a message was undeliverable, so I never send them anything. If I did, where would it go? Do email messages fly off into the infinite reaches of space? Do any of them actually make it to Heaven?

“Delete” is an ugly word when you apply it to a human life. Even if that life is no longer here. “Delete” has implications that can never apply to the life of a human being. Every life makes an impact somewhere. No life can be deleted, as if it never existed.

Maybe I cannot delete them because these people left their footprints in my life. Maybe it is because the act is so harsh, and makes their deaths so final. Maybe it is because I have a difficult time throwing things away if I think I may need them again someday…